The Cost of Being “Good”
Be nice. Be quiet. Don’t make waves. Keep the peace. If those phrases sound familiar, you didn’t stumble into people-pleasing. You were trained for it. And the training started early — in classrooms, at dinner tables, in the way adults responded when you were agreeable versus when you were honest. “Good girl” conditioning teaches you […]
The Curious Case of Black Women and Venture Capital
Black women are one of the fastest-growing groups of entrepreneurs in the United States. And yet, when it comes to raising the capital needed to sustain and scale those businesses? The numbers tell a very different story. By 2020, fewer than 100 Black female entrepreneurs had raised more than $1 million in venture funding. For […]
The Questions You’re Avoiding Are the Answers You Need
There’s a question in the back of your mind that you keep pushing away. Maybe it’s about your career. Or your relationship. Or your future. You stay busy enough that you don’t have to answer it. But it’s still there. Why We Avoid Hard Questions We avoid questions when we already know the answer will […]
You Don’t Know How to Receive (and It Shows)
Is this you? ?? Someone offers you a compliment and you deflect. A colleague asks if you need help and you say you’re fine. You give constantly to others, but when it’s time to receive? You freeze. If so, (**pats couch**) come sit. We need to chat. For a high-achiever, receiving probably feels more uncomfortable […]
Why High-Achievers Struggle to Own Their Authority (And What to Do About It)
A client said something in a session recently that I’ve heard countless times before: “I don’t know how to talk about what I’ve accomplished without feeling like I’m bragging.” For context: she’s brilliant. Gets results. Consistently delivers. But when I asked her to walk me through her recent wins, she speed-bumped right over them. “What […]
You Can’t Reward Conformity and Call It Authenticity
For years, companies have been touting how much they value authenticity. It’s been a corporate buzzword for at least a decade (“storytelling” took its place, but that’s another post for another day). Before current events in our political landscape, these organizations were clamoring to have diversity statements on their websites, schedule mandatory inclusion trainings, and […]
When Success Feels Hollow: What Leaders Need to Know
You’ve worked hard to get here. The promotion came through. The title changed. People congratulate you. But when you’re alone with your thoughts, something feels off. You expected to feel proud. Instead, you feel empty. If that’s you, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. You’ve just discovered something most high-achievers eventually learn: achievement and […]
Leadership Lessons from “The Greatest Night in Pop”
My Gen-X heart could not have been happier watching The Greatest Night in Pop documentary on Netflix! As a kid, I loved cracking open a cassette tape or CD and reading the lyrics and liner notes of the album. I loved shows like Pop Up Video on VH1, where I got to learn all kinds […]
How to Get People to Share More About Themselves
If you want to create an environment for others to share more about themselves, start by sharing about yourself genuinely and not for attention. When you share appropriately for the setting and context of your relationship, others will feel more comfortable doing the same. Lead with this intention and let it inform how you shape each […]
Making Room for Vulnerability at Work
Vulnerability can have a negative connotation, especially when it comes to sharing in the workplace. When our colleagues over-share the details of their personal lives, cry during meetings, or say inappropriate things, those moments can be awkward for all involved! Nonetheless, there should be a place for vulnerability at work. It’s a key aspect of […]
Ask Better Questions to Build Better Connections
As a speaker, I often tell the story of how my oldest daughter taught me the power of asking better questions. When she was in elementary school, I would pick her up each day and excitedly ask, “How was your day?!” Her guaranteed response each time was, “Good.” That was it. A flat, one-word response […]
Handling Conflict and Difficult Conversations
Conflict is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t have to be destructive. In fact, conflict can be an opportunity to learn and grow, if it is handled effectively. Here are some tips on how to handle conflict and difficult conversations: Stay calm and collected. It can be difficult to stay calm when you […]