Five Questions You Need in Your Burnout Toolkit
In my TEDx Talk I recounted a time when I was so exhausted, a co-worker asked me how I was doing and it made me cry. Her question, or maybe just the timing of the ask, forced me to admit the quiet truth I was denying.
After an extended sprint of burning the proverbial candle at both ends – from being a mom, wife, employee with two jobs, and growing a new business – I was utterly exhausted.
I’d been running on empty for months, trying to push through one more deadline, one more obligation, one more day. My colleague’s question was the simple thing that had a big impact.
It was an invitation to be honest with her and myself. I was beyond tired and something had to change.
That’s the thing about burnout. It doesn’t announce itself. It creeps in quietly while you’re busy telling yourself you’ll rest after this project, after this season, after things calm down. But there’s always another reason to push through. That’s the trap.
All of these many years later from that season in my life and after talking about burnout with clients and friends, I hope this post does for you what my colleague’s question did for me.
Let it be an invitation to evaluate what changes you may need to make, should burnout be looming over life.
Beyond Exhaustion, Burnout is about Disconnection
We know burnout is about mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion. I also think it’s a form of disconnection — from your work, your purpose, and yourself. By the time most people name it, they’ve been ignoring the signs for months.
It may show in people-pleasing, overextending yourself, taking on tasks and obligations nobody asked you to take on. Or they did ask, but you didn’t have the courage to say no. You tell yourself you’re a hard worker who gets shit done (which, great! There’s nothing wrong with that). The challenge arises, however, when you don’t have a plan to rest, relax, and recharge after going too hard for too long. Rest is barely in your vocabulary, let alone a part of your daily or weekly routine.
How to Use Questions as Preventive Care
You don’t have to wait until you collapse to make changes. Regular self-inquiry creates the pause and perspective needed to course-correct before you hit a wall.
Some questions to keep in your burnout prevention toolkit are:
- Will this task energize or drain me?
- Am I doing this because I want to, or because I feel obligated?
- What am I sacrificing to maintain this pace?
If you answer those honestly, you’ll see what’s coming before it arrives and hopefully make choices that serve your well-being. Prevention is always easier than recovery. But it requires you to actually listen to yourself — and then act on what you hear.
You’re allowed to adjust before things fall apart. In fact, that’s exactly what good leadership looks like. If and when you do fall apart, don’t be afraid to let people help you put things back together. Being the strong one all the time is what might have gotten you here in the first place.
5 Questions to Ask Yourself Regularly
These aren’t one-time questions. Make them a practice. Grab your journal, brew some tea, and sit…write…and reflect.
- Am I energized by what I’m doing, or just surviving it? How do I know what thriving (vs. surviving) looks like for me?
- What am I afraid will happen if I slow down? What unmet need am I overcompensating for?
- Is what I’ve committed to actually sustainable at this pace?
- What warning sign am I currently choosing to ignore?
- What do I need to release or adjust this week?
The uncomfortable truth is, we live in a society that normalizes exhaustion and calls it dedication. We run at unsustainable paces, convincing ourselves that quicker, better, faster is the best formula in the pursuit of more. But what if having more could look like doing less?
Again, the message here isn’t to avoid hard work. It’s about not sacrificing your well-being in the process.
Dr. Amber L. Wright is an executive life coach, communication expert, and speaker. If burnout is something you’re navigating or trying to prevent, she’d love to support you. Learn more at wordswellsaid.com/coaching or tune in to the Say More with Dr. Amber podcast.
